The taboo of poo
So if you’ve been hanging around here for a while you’ll know that what I love is truthful information that can inform and empower you, as well as busting myths and misconceptions about pregnancy, birth and motherhood.
So lets talk about the taboo of poo.
Once you become a parent you’ll have two main topics of conversation with other new parents - baby’s sleep and baby’s poo. Never has poo been such an everyday or opening topic of conversation!
But when it comes to poo and birth it’s a rather more taboo subject for many.
But shit happens. Literally.
Women are often really worried about pooing when they are giving birth. And when someone has the courage to bring it up in one of my pregnancy yoga classes, or on my complete antenatal & hypnobirthing courses it’s something that then everyone eagerly wants to hear about. Because they’ve heard stories from other people, or they are just too scared to ask their midwife or often even to actually think about it.
Why all the secrecy and embarrassment?
Well probably because we are British - so we don’t talk about ‘those things’ do we. Or maybe it’s out ‘toilet humour’ that we just find pooing and farting somewhat hilarious. But it’s not really not something to be embarrassed about or that’s actually funny if it’s making you worried or scared. It also has a lot to do with our cultural conditioning - we are taught from an early age that poo and toilets are ‘dirty’, something that we do alone (and hence have an anxiety doing in front of someone), and that we need to cover up our bottoms. It could also be do do with the patriarchal conditioning that it’s not ‘lady-like’ to talk about pooing, toilets or farting - despite them being literally everyday normal bodily functions! There’s a real variation in people’s comfort to poo in different places in life in general - some folks struggle to poo often, some when they go on holiday, there are people who can poo only on their home toilet . So ALL of this to some level feeds into this embarrassment, worry and fear.
And actually if you you worried about it as you go into labour, or you are unsure what will happen if you poo in labour - then that will lead to unnecessary stress that can interfere with and slow down your labour. So it’s really important to know this stuff in your pregnancy, have the knowledge and then make choices that are right for you.
It’s important for the physiological process of labour to happen that you can relax, and that you feel safe and secure and also private. If you’re worried about someone seeing you poo, or judging you for pooing then it’s really counterproductive to your labour.
Here’s some of the questions I often get asked…
I’ve heard people say birth feels like doing a big poo - is it?
So yes people do say this. And that because as your baby moves down in the birthing/second/down stage of labour their head applies pressure on the back passage and rectum - and that can feel like you need to do a massive poo. Sometimes people talk about an ‘urge to bear down’ too.
See the illustration here
When you feel this that’s great - it means your baby is moving down to be born. At this point you need to not hold on or grip anywhere around your pelvic floor, rectum or anus - you need to let that poo, sorry baby, out! Relaxing into that sensation and downward pressure is important.
So will you poo in labour?
Truthfully in a vaginal birth, most women will poo. Poo can happen in labour and birth, just as it happens in everyday life. The most likely time this happens is in the birthing stage (also called the second stage of labour, or the ‘down’ stage in hypnobirthing) Sometimes there is poo before the baby’s head is visible, sometimes it’s as the head emerges - both normal and absolutely OK. This is because as baby is moved down by the muscles of your uterus to be born, and their head pushes and applied pressure to the rectum that’s along side the uterus, any poo that is in there will very likely be pushed to down out out of your body too - so you poo. It’s usually a very small amount as often women have loose bowels before labour starts, but the amount is irrelevant.
Pooing during labour is a normal function and a positive sign - your baby is moving in the right direction, labour is progressing, and you are going to meet your baby soon. So 'it’s actually an exciting sign!
Often mothers say that they didn’t even notice they pooed, or afterwards don’t recall if they did or did not.
Also there are some folks that do no poo in labour - and remember that’s OK too!
What happens if / when I poo?
As I said it’s completely normal and happens all the time. So your midwife is really expecting this and it will not phase her at all. Infact midwives are often delighted by it, it reassures them that baby is on there way and the head is moving down with the surges (contractions).
Midwives are very adept as discreetly whisking away the poo, probably before you or your partner notices. It’s all part of their job and second nature to them. They also understand than many folk feel a little anxious about poo, so they won’t make a big deal of it.
If you’re so in the ‘birth zone’ and connected to yourself in labour land then your mind will be focussed on getting through each surge and that you’re body is doing this amazing thing in birthing your baby (who you are going to meet soon) you’ll probably no even notice. Birth is a physiological, natural, process in the body - it is primal and not concerned with the modern invention of toilets and the like. If you can move your mindset to that in preparation it can help.
What about if I’m in the birth pool or bath?
If you’re in water, then the midwife will simply use a sieve to remove any poo. Again something they are very used to doing on an everyday basis.
What can I do if I’m still worried
1) If you are still worried then firstly please talk to your community midwife about it. Don’t be embarrassed. I wish that midwives would actually proactively mention this to women antenatally, so allay the worry or embarrassment. You don’t want to be carry this worry or fear with you into labour - even small worries can really effect the delicate process of labour. It’s designed to slow down or stop if we are fearful in a small or big way.
2) If there is anything you midwife can do to help then let them know. It might be a small thing, but if it makes a difference to your birth experience then it IS important. Remember that it’s important that you feel safe and relaxed in labour, with trusted people around you. So whatever can facilitate that is important.
3) You can also write in your birth plan/preferences about it too. So your midwife(s) on the day know your worries or your preferences. For some people having someone wipe poo off them might not be something they want without consenting to it on the moment (or might not want a midwife to do that at all - it is your choice) - so if this is you please make it clear in your birth preference. Also sometimes writing it down can be easier than talking about it as a starting point.
4) Finally could you think about pooing in labour as a natural and positive thing. It’s not shameful, or embarassing, or unusual. It’s just part of what may happen as your body does the most magnificent thing - bringing a new human into the world.
I hope that’s helpful, and that is aids your understanding of labour and what can happen which is totally normal and that midwives are so used to dealing with. Because when you are familiar and understand your amazing body and your amazing baby and have the knowledge and not the fear about the process - that can really help you to feel less worried about birth and help you support yourself through the process as much a possible.
If you want to know more about supporting yourself in labour, staying calmer and more confident, feel really prepared, and how to work brilliantly with your baby, your birth partner, and your midwife and care team then do take a look at my Antenatal & Hypnobirthing Courses here. I also do refresher courses and private one to one courses too.
And anything else I can help with please do let me know
Susan
PS I’ll be doing an other poo post soon - all about postnatal pooing, Because that’s something to know about too in advance!