Quick Guide For A Positive Birth

In all my years of teaching pregnant women and couples, if there’s one thing I’ve learnt, it’s that knowledge is power. If you are pregnant, you ARE going to give birth. There’s no getting out of it. So learn all you can, not just about the physical and mental experience of pregnancy and labour (because it's as much a mind game as a body one - due to your birth hormones which control everything in labour), but also about your choices, options and rights in the birth room. Here are my five top tips to maximise your chances of a positive birth

1) Challenge your fears and assumptions

Because you have grown up in the western world within the last forty or so years, then it's pretty much inevitable you’ve seen or heard a few scary (or perhaps frankly terrifying) stories on the topic of childbirth. Maybe it was that episode of Eastenders that made Alien look like a picnic in the park, the ever present One Born Every Minute you've been glued to? Or perhaps it's your own birth story as told by your mother? Or perhaps the dramatic story a work colleague, a neighbour or complete stranger in the bus queue who noticed your bump regaled to you with (a strange) glee? Wherever you got all those negative and terrifying idea's of how you think birth will be, it’s time to loose all that, and replace it with some positive thinking. Because the brain is looking to reinforce what it already believes is the truth (which it thinks right now is those dramatised stories), and you need to re-wire the neural connections to seek out positive, true, birth realities - which are hearer to find in modern media and society - we strangely share the bad birth stories but not the many, many positive ones. I'll show you a number of ways to challenge your fears and assumptions, and rewire your brain to the positive on my hypnobirthing & birth preparation course.

2) Take to other women, read and watch positive birth stories

Often women are so scared of giving birth that they don't dare watch a single film about it. But if you choose carefully, you can watch some really inspiring films of labour that might just encourage you to feel that it’s not going be that bad. I always show a really brilliant video on my course, its usually a real eye opener for the couples to what they have previously though and expect birth has to be. You can also find lots of inspiration on the Tell Me A Good Birth Story website where women have shared their stories to help others feel more confident. I'd also like to suggest that you switch off One Born Every Minute. Watching woman after distressed looking woman in the stranded beetle position, lying on her back on a bed with bright lights and blustering midwives, and hapless birth partners, is not going to do much for your confidence in the physiological process of birth. Birth is hard work on a bed lying on your back – so again, challenge your assumptions and find out what the women who love giving birth are doing instead. One Born Every Minute is not reality - it's a 'docu-drama' - and is heavy on the drama. It's on a commercial television station, and so it has to sell advertising space. So drama (not reality) is required for commercial reasons.

3) Make a birth plan or preferences.

And indeed a plan A, B and C You might think 'what's the point in a birth plan?' because, you know birth is unpredictable right? Well first of all, you need to know that this is not entirely true – there are in fact lots of steps you can take to maximise your chances of having the birth you want, and thinking through your choices and options (with your birth partner) is a vital part of that process. It also acts a a great tool to communicate with your care team in a simple yet effective way. Of course you can't control everything that's true. But if you know what your choices are, and what you can actually control, then you have a much better chance of having a positive birth experience. I talk about this a lot in my course, it's really important.

First I'd suggest you make a 'Plan A' and have a clear idea of what you really want, and don’t be afraid to dream about that and aim for it. However, you can also think through the choices you might make if birth deviates from your hopes – and make a Plan B (and even C and D) for those scenarios. And even if you want a home birth in a tent at the bottom of your garden (yes, it’s been done!), I still recommend you make a plan for your BPC (Best Possible Caesarean). There are lots of caesarean choices you can make, for example immediate skin to skin with your baby, your own music in theatre, that will make you feel more at the centre of the experience and leave you feeling more positive afterwards. 4) Learn about the love hormone Oxytocin, which is also called the 'Love Hormone' is produced by your body when you feel safe, cosy, happy, warm, unobserved, relaxed and emotionally free and uninhibited. You produce it when you are falling head over heels in love, when you are having really good sex and when you are breastfeeding. And really importantly Oxytocin is the most vital hormone in the birth process - in fact it controls the whole process of birth. So you need to know how to help increase the Oxytocin levels your brain produces, and what you can do to minimise anything that will interrupt its production (which could slow down or interrupt your labour - and no one wants a longer labour than is necessary do they!) Your brain is really good as making an abundant supply of Oxytocin, but only in the right conditions. Basically when it feels you are safe, and when you are unstressed and not fearful or worried. This is one reason why getting rid of fears and worries about birth is so important in pregnancy (erm hello Hypnobirthing). Oxytocin likes all of these things to flow well - darkness, quiet, warmth, privacy, safety, familiarity, feeling love, being with people you trust. It likes it when you feel connected to others, through massage, when you breath in certain ways, looking into people you trusts eyes, kind and positive words and reassurance, being in a relaxed body candle light, gorgeous happy music, familiar relaxing smells and scents. Oxytocin does not like these things, and retreats - being cold, bright lights (especially fluorescent glaring strip lights), unfamiliarity, strangers, interruptions, unfamiliarity, worry, fear. It does not like sudden noises, distractions, fast or shallow breathing, or people chit chatting while it is trying to get in the zone, or feeling ignored, or feeling poked and prodded and vulnerable. Wherever you decide to give birth, and however it happens for you, you really need to keep coming back to how to create the best environment for your brain to produce oxytocin - because it's the key to birth and there is so much you can do to help it, and effective techniques you can learn to increase its production (and yes that's right I'll teach you all of these on my course)

5) Know that you have choices and rights in birth

Did you know that contrary to what you might thing, or have been told, in every single pregnancy and birth situation - YOU have a choice. Full stop. It actually that simple. What happens to you, your body and your baby in pregnancy, labour and birth is one hundred percent - up to you. Most pregnant women don't know that, and sadly many women with babies don't either. Now don't get too hung up on the power trip! I'm not suggesting that you need to know all the answers yourself, no not at all. Indeed there may be times when you are more than happy to take the lead of the medical professionals. But there are many other choices to be made in pregnancy and birth that are not ‘life or death’ decisions, and in which you can take an active, informed role. And being part of the decision making is really important for a positive birth experience, You have rights in childbirth just as you do in all other areas of your life. Too often women talk about ‘not being allowed’ to do certain things when they give birth, but in fact, this language is outdated. You are allowed to make whatever choices you feel are right for you, your family and your baby. It is your body, your baby, your choice. So if you don't fancy another vaginal exam (or any at all) to check your progress - then you can say no. Want to get off the bed and move around - don’t ask, just do it. Feel you need an epidural? Well you have a right to have pain relief when you request it. For many women just knowing that they are in the driving seat when it comes to birth choices, makes them feel less intimidated, worried and scared about labour and birth - and more empowered and positive. And that's why it's so important to know this.

I hope this article has inspired you to learn more about birth. How you body is designed to work in labour and birth, that hormones are so very important (and what you do influences them, and so the process of birth, hugely) and that you have a lot of work to do in pregnancy to get fully informed on the choices and options you have!

Do join me on my COMPLETE birth preparation and antenatal courses. You’ll learn about all of this and so much more. You’ll gain all the techniques and skills from my expertise in hypnobirthing, massage, active birth, movement and yoga to have the best birth for you and your baby on the day. You;ll feel more confident, calmer and may even actually look forward to birth. Join me for a positive and empowered pregnancy and birth - all the details of my courses are here

And any questions of course just let me know

Susan x