Reframing working over the school holidays
The long school Summer holidays are about to hit, and that’s always something I find tricky to navigate as a working mother. It’s a juggle, a compromise, and especially when my kids were much smaller and needed so much attention (first few years of school when around 20 weeks of the year are school holidays!) it was a super stressful time.
Please know it does get easier as they get older - hang in there! But here’s A little technique that you might find helpful and supportive if you’re struggling (and please know you’re not alone in that struggle).
As a self-employed person I am fortunate enough to have the flexibility to shift my hours and work days around, and for that I am really thankful. So much so that for the last couple of years I have decided to take off the whole month of August off teaching classes and courses, which although means no income for a whole month (eeek! actually really stressful in itself - especially in the cost of living crisis) it does take the pressure off the juggle a little.
That said I still do quite a lot of admin, marketing and planning throughout when I’m not teaching - which takes a lot of time. And there’s always the nagging feeling that I ‘should be doing more’. In reality I tend to take 2 weeks off when we leave the country to go on our family summer holiday, which again I am super grateful for being able to do.
So when negativity creeps in, this is something that I often come back to:
1) Firstly I journal. I write down all the negative (and very probably entirely inaccurate) stuff I am telling myself and worrying about. I get it all out and down on paper. This in itself is really cathartic.
2) I read it back and see that quite a lot of the stuff is ridiculous, a story I’m telling myself that’s not helpful. Doing this and seeing it for what it is really helps.
3) Then I look at the things I’ve written and flip them, rewrite them in the positive. I ‘reframe’ them. It’s simple but it really works
For example:
If I’ve written “I am worried about them watching too much tv” then I might reframe this as “they will benefit from having some chilled the downtime of watching tv”
If I’ve written “I've not planned in enough to entertain my kids” then I might reframe this as “I'm teaching my children to entertain themselves sometimes and just go with the flow”
If I’ve written “I feel guilty about how much I've got to work over the holidays” then I might reframe this as “I feel proud that my work supports our family”
If I’ve written “I have six weeks of holiday to fill with excitement and lots of fun” then I might reframe this as “ I have six weeks of holiday for all of us to slow the f**k down”
If I’ve written “ I need to book more day trips out” then I might reframe this as “I need to allow my children time to just play at home or locally with friends”
If I’ve written “I need to ensure my children have an amazing and perfect holiday” then I might reframe this as “I am not responsible for everyone else's happiness, and nothing is actually perfect. Good enough is absolutely good enough”
If I’ve written “ I am so unprepared for the many weeks ahead” then I might reframe this as “I can simply take each day as it comes, I do not need a plan for everyday”
See how that feels so much better? It really does work for me
Give it a go and let me know how you get on
Also the school holidays and finding things to do can be SO expensive, and that is super stressful. So here’s if you are based in and around the York area here’s some links to FREE things to do over the Summer from the brilliant Little Vikings and Mumbler webistes:
https://little-vikings.co.uk/free-cheap-things-to-do-york/
https://york.mumbler.co.uk/20-free-and-low-cost-things-to-do-in-the-summer-holidays-in-york/
Susan x