A brilliant first birth story using hypnobirthing
How we came to hypnobirthing
When I found out I was pregnant I was delighted but my view of the birth process itself was somewhat hazy and for a long time I chose to keep it that way. Inspired by films, TV and friends’ birth stories I had a vision of giving birth flat-on-back-legs-akimbo-florescent-lights-glaring, writhing in pain, while a nameless and faceless healthcare professional shouted ‘PUSH’. As the bump grew this prospect had started to (literally) take on nightmarish proportions, so I knew it was important to get educated and regain some feeling of control.
I’d heard of NCT and had assumed that was really the only option (over and above the NHS course) however the classes in York were full and travelling to another location was tricky with work commitments. We were also keen to meet other parents-to-be, so choosing an alternative antenatal course in our home city was a lot more practical.
I’d heard about hypnobirthing via a friend-of-a-friend, but I’d assumed it was something to do with hypnosis which felt to me like losing, rather than gaining, control, so I’d initially discounted it. However, with our options limited, I did some research and it dawned on me that hypnobirthing was nothing to do with hypnosis and a lot of what I read made sense. We took a deep breath, paid the money and signed up, and so it was that we came to hypnobirthing largely by (happy) happenstance, rather than by design.
The course
We started the hypnobirthing course with Susan about six weeks until due date. Run over two Saturdays, we learnt about everything from the importance of hormones, to the role of birth partners, birth planning and of course breathing and relaxation techniques. There was lots more information on the physiological and biological aspects of labour and birth than I was expecting, and it was really enlightening to understand exactly what your body is trying to do.
While everything we learnt was relevant and helpful, I found the single most powerful idea was a really simple one; Birth is a natural process and if you let it, your body will know what to do, in the same way it knows how to breath, convert food to energy or to fight off a cold.
There was ‘homework’ to do and here I confess I was not entirely a model student! The practical side I could tick off a to do list I was fine with – I spent some time writing my birth preferences/plan and discussing it with my other half and for me this was a really important part of feeling more in control. Talking to my partner was a critical part of this – it helped to clarify things in my own mind and when it came to the big day, it was great knowing that he knew not just what I wanted but why I wanted it and would be able to advocate for me, if needed.
Once I had a good draft, I discussed it with my community midwife and she was really supportive. She knew all about hypnobirthing and she was able to explain how the waterbirth I wanted would work at York hospital and even arranged for us to look round the ward and delivery rooms. As a result, the nightmarish vision of giving birth started to recede and I started to feel more empowered.
What I found harder was to really commit to consistently doing the relaxations, visualisations and breathing practice – work was still full on and there seemed to a million things to be sorted before the bump became a person. While I did do some relaxations and read the affirmations, I wasn’t exactly assiduous about it. The closer the due date got the more I worried I hadn’t invested enough time in the psychological preparation to make hypnobirthing “work” for me – only time would tell!
The big day (and night)
One of the most ironic things about going into labour is how tricky it was to know it was ‘for real’ or just more Braxton Hicks. At about five in the evening I sent Joe a tentative text, checking he wouldn’t be home late from work but carried on pottering around the house finishing off bits of DIY.
My partner came home from work looking mildly alarmed and we both wondered if this was the real thing. At my insistence we had some dinner (I always eat in times of stress!) and by eight I thought it was worth finishing packing hospital bags, since they “could always be unpacked”.
By nine it was pretty obvious it was game on. I thought my waters had released so he phoned the triage at the hospital – they said to come in so they could check. This was because they needed to know if I didn’t go into the second stage of labour within 48 hours as there is an infection risk.
The contractions were still sporadic at this stage and when we got to the ward they seemed pretty sceptical, but they ran the tests and confirmed that my waters had at least (partially) released. They said it would be a while yet and suggested we go back home – I was happy to as I know that would be the best place to help oxytocin.
We were home by 11.00pm, and the rest of the night felt somehow timeless. We had the lights low in the living room, we listened to some music then some relaxations, then music again. I had been using a TENS machine but around 2.00am I took some paracetamol and had a very long hot bath which really helped ease the sensations.
My partner sat with me, offering encouragement, timing the contractions, playing DJ, drinking coffee and in between it all, talking about random rubbish and making me laugh! By 4.30am my contractions were more powerful and closer together, so Joe phoned triage again and by 5.00am we were back at the hospital.
My partner was by now was looking after all the logistics so he set the room up as planned with fairy lights aromatherapy and playlists and made sure the midwife had read my birth preferences. My contractions slowed right down, but nevertheless by 9.00am I was pretty tired, and the novelty was starting to wear a little thin.
My partner encouraged me to have some tea and toast and I kind of half dozed before the contractions started to return again. By this time, I was only 3cm dilated and it already felt like the whole thing had been going on forever…also as this was only the first stage, I wasn’t technically ‘in labour’, as the midwife kept reminding me!
Slowly the hours dragged by as I walked up and down the delivery room, did the ‘up’ breathing with my partners support and activated the TENS machine for the more intense sensations. At one point I asked if I could have some gas and air (I’d said on my birth plan I didn’t want to be offered pain relief) but was advised to wait until things were further on. Instead, my partner reminded me how to do the breathing - not as mansplaining as it sounds! - but it became clear I was at another plateau.
Around lunchtime the midwife announced I was 4cm dilated – not going to lie, this made me want to cry - but she also said my waters hadn’t fully released. She explained that if she released the rest of the waters around the baby’s head, she was fairly confident that I’d go into labour (stage two properly) but if she released the water and this didn’t happen, they’d strongly recommend induction. This was something I was very keen to avoid, mostly because of the increased chances of assisted delivery.
The alternative was to wait for the rest of the water to release naturally but if we did that I’d probably either have to go home or walk around the hospital as the delivery room was needed for women who were further on than me, and there was no room in the antenatal ward.
We asked for some time to discuss the options and we used the BRAINS acronym from Susan’s course to make a decision. I knew leaving the delivery room would be a dramatic change in environment so would ruin the oxytocin and set my contractions back, plus I was already feeling physically and emotionally pretty tired and there was no knowing how long stages two and three would last!
Having weighed up the pros and cons, the midwife went ahead and released the remaining water. Afterwards I had to remain lying down for 20 minutes so they could monitor the baby. With all the interventions my contractions had receded so we listened to another relaxation and remarkably I fell into a half sleep.
Once the midwife was happy the baby was OK, I was allowed up again. I carried on walking up and down the delivery room and it quickly became clear my contractions had changed and I was now in the ‘downward’ phase (stage two). It felt like my entire insides were trying to make an escape through me and on to the floor.
My partner went to get our midwife and she finally said it was time to get into the pool – after almost 23 hours this felt like a huge achievement and it felt like the end was coming into view. However, things were actually moving pretty quickly by this stage so, despite the long build up, it was by no means a certainty I’d even make it in! In the end I did, but this meant leaving the TENS machine behind – in truth though it had done its part and I felt like it was losing its effectiveness.
I was probably on the pool for only about 45 minutes but it was absolutely the right environment for me – it felt warm, safe and relatively private – a far cry from how I had originally envisaged giving birth. The crown was undeniably a strong sensation (!), but seconds later I was cuddling our daughter. She arrived at 4.45pm - almost 24 hours after I started having contractions (although much to my chagrin my medical notes say I was in labour for a mere hour and a half!)
We’d discussed the third stage of labour (delivering the placenta) at hypnobirthing but I hadn’t really given it much thought. In the end it lasted another hour as I’d opted to deliver it naturally rather than have the injection. It wasn’t really painful, I just felt there was nothing to push on and I couldn’t really focus – all I wanted was to cuddle our daughter and be with Joe.
Of course, the midwife knew how important it was to get the third stage done and to get feeding, so I agreed to the injection to speed things along. Once the placenta was out I realised how cold I was (you get out the pool after the baby has come) and I was also conscious of just how much ‘stuff’ I was covered in. I desperately wanted a shower, however there were still the stitches to come (in the end this was the only gas and air I had), and then I could finally get cleaned up.
By 10.00pm we were admitted to the postnatal ward and a midwife made sure I gave our daughter a feed. I had to say goodbye to my partner and I had the dawning realisation I had to look after this tiny person all night on my own. I hoped she wouldn’t cry all night and expose how little I knew about how to calm a newborn baby, but I needn’t have worried. She was exhausted, I was exhausted and we slept really well (bar the midwife waking us for night feed!)
All in all, bringing our daughter into the world was an incredibly positive experience, both for me and for my partner. The emphasis hypnobirthing places on the importance of the birth partner meant that I had support when I needed it most, and My partner was intimately involved in the arrival of his daughter. While it’s not an experience I’m in a hurry to repeat, it’s definitely one I would recommend.